The Ultimate Guide To Twitter Parody

What's a Twitter? The Basics

Close your eyes. Imagine your superpower is being able to read minds. There's no way that can backfire right?

WRONG! While Twitter can be a great place to figure out what's going on in the world, it's usually a great place to collect 6,000 tweets per second of utter garbage in your brain.

How To Get More Followers

I get it. You want to be "Twitter-famous". But here's the thing.

The majority of people that do have a lot of followers only do because they were popular beforehand. Following lots of people so they'll follow you back isn't the best idea. Following too many people at once is known as "spam", an ancient ritual performed by the first trolls of this mystical land. The average user has 750 followers, and if you are that average user, people are more interested in looking at a dead grumpy cat than anything "trending".

Trending

Yeah. You see the hashtags? It's a way to trick users into thinking something is popular when it's actually very unpopular. But because people think it is, they start tweeting it more until it becomes a statement. I'm not saying hashtags are always irrelevant, but the 4,000 people watching Tenable tonight are to me.

So how do I find good content all the time?

You can't. Looking for that tiny tweet that will brighten your day in a colossal mountain of sh-hay, is the most ridiculous way to spend your time. If you really want to connect with other people, even if it's during a lockdown, just be yourself. Do you really want to be seen as 'just another pile of hay'? Or do you want to capture something beautiful inside of you for everyone to gaze at and remember you by for as long as the internet lives?

Here's the original post. https://www.webdesignerdepot.com/2009/03/the-ultimate-guide-for-everything-twitter/

Oh and any word you do search, I promise you, you'll regret it if you scroll enough.